I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
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We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
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Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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