Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize