Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
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The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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