This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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