Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I have post one night stand depression
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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