What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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