if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Randomize
