My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
