If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
handjob tips. give me some.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
