After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
