Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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