I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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