Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
