I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
