your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize