mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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