If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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