I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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