when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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