Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
