we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
