is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I understand Curling. That high.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
