Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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