just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize