I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
