Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
