i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
