So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Everclear isn't food dammit
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I forget how to act sober
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
