I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You left your underwear on the fireplace
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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