guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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