Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
