just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
