ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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