Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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