we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize