Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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