We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
