If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
