I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize