his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize