Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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