who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
im holly from the hills drunk
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
