jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
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Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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