Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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