carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
