Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
