Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
