Just fell off a train. Bad.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
