don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This is my gift to your gina
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
