I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
