If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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