guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
