i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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