I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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