It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
